The Blessingway
I had never heard of a Blessingway until I was invited to my friend’s a few years ago. It was one of the most magical and moving experiences I’ve ever experienced. (Sobbed the WHOLE time, I kid you not) I believe every woman should experience one, so I’d love to share what it is with you!
Blessingways are traditional to North American Indians who mark the transition a woman makes when she moves from maiden to mother. Unlike a baby shower, a blessing way is not about gifts, games, or even the baby.
It is all about the mother to be!
It is a way to honor all of the amazing changes that are happening to her body, of welcoming her into the tribe of motherhood, and recognizing the right of passage she is about to embark on.
Blessingway ceremonies create a safe and sacred environment where a mama to be can share and explore the challenges and joys that lie before her as she approaches birthing and mothering. Surrounded by the most important women in her life, she gains a sense of power, confidence, and support that will help her rise to motherhood.
Ok, so what do you do? There is no wrong or right way to do it, but here is a loose guideline and some ideas. Choose what speaks to you and the Mother of honor.
Create a throne. Make it gorgeous, decadent and very comfortable! If she’s willing, make the Mother to be a crown of flowers or feathers to wear, and paint her belly with henna. You can even soak her feet in scented water. She is Queen for this day, and you are celebrating her body and all that it is about to do!
One or two women hold the space and direct the activities of the day, so that the pregnant woman can just relax and enjoy.
Begin by welcoming everyone present. Have guests sit in a circle, it’s important that everyone is comfortable and can see each other. In case everyone does not know each other, go around the circle and have guests introduce themselves and say a little about their relationship with the Mama.
Bless her: It’s called a Blessingway, after all! You can ask each participant to bring something they've found or written to bless the Mother. It can be in the form of prayer, a poem, reading a passage from a book, or simply telling her how awesome and strong she is.
(You can compile the written prayers/poems/blessings into a beautiful journal or notebook for the Mother. For impromptu words or songs, record them with an audio or video recorder and later transcribe them for the book.)
Share: Encourage the pregnant woman to voice any fears and feelings about her coming transition without being judged or told her feelings are wrong. Give advice only if it’s asked for or check first before offering advice. If she is open to it, other mothers may share their positive birth stories or feelings about their difficult birth experiences. Many times fears can be allayed by genuine supportive and positive words.
Water: It has been documented that Water can carry the vibrations of thoughts and feelings. Pass around a bowl of water and say prayers of good will into it, then give to the Mother to drink. If a water birth is planned, you can set up a beautiful bowl full of water, that the guests say their wishes into, and keep for Mama to pour in her birthing tub.
Beads: Have each person invited bring or send a bead that they have picked especially for the mother. Let them explain why she chose it for her, and then string all the beads onto a cord for the Mother to wear or keep close during labor. It serves as a beautiful reminder of the circle of women who love and support her.
Bind: At the onset of your ceremony, pass around a ball of yarn or ribbon. Have each participant wrap it around her wrist one or more times and give it to the person next to her, at once making everyone connected. At the end of the Blessingway, have guests cut their cord to create a bracelet they wear until the Mother’s labor is over. Prior to the birth, when they see their bracelet, they can think of the pregnant Mama and send her good thoughts. (I love this!)
Light: Lighting a candle is a great way to bring a sacred feel to the celebration. You can give candles to the guests, or ask them to bring a candle to light during their blessing for the Mother. Afterwards each guest will take her candle home and light it when she hears the mother is in labor.
Pamper: Pamper your pregnant friend with a yummy and relaxing foot, hand or head massage. Or hire a professional pregnancy masseuse to come and give her a treat.
Nourish: Lastly, when inviting, ask friends to bring a delicious dish to share, and feast!
Try some or all of these ideas at your next celebration! Purchase your own Binding Thread at Ecobaby's Etsy shop or Ecobaby.com
For more details and ideas, check out these books!
Blessingways by Shari Maser
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment